Rider Wellness: Don’t Act Like a Horse!

Keep Your (Human) Head in Tense Moments

I don’t usually fall off my horse, Vali, but when I do, I do it big. I have a good seat and can generally ride what Vali gives me, and he is finally well-mannered at his mature age of 13. I remember one ride when he was young and green, and I was still learning his traits and personality, where it turned out he wasn’t as well trained as I thought. My friend’s horse trotted ahead, and Vali erupted into some move that had me off in a millisecond. Nothing broke because of that fall, but I definitely needed a shot of an adult beverage afterward. Eventually I learned to feel that big leap of his developing and could stop it, or at least sit deep and ride through the silliness. 

But now and then, as we all know, events can make even the best horses unpredictable. Several months ago, I was riding with two friends whose horses were being reactive handfuls. I watched as one friend who was ponying an extra horse started sliding off the side of her horse along with her saddle. Being the person in the group riding the only sane horse, I started to step off to be ready to help. As I shifted my weight to dismount, the ponied horse got away and galloped toward me, causing Vali to jump sideways to get out of the way. I was off, landing hard on my side, trying to catch myself with my right hand. At least I think that’s what happened; everything happened so fast I have no idea how I fell. The result, of course, was a broken wrist.

A few weeks later, I was holding my horse with my good (unbroken) hand and was telling my horseshoer about this unplanned dismount. I explained that my horse was just acting like a horse—he wasn’t really at fault as I was the one who was off-balance. He laughed and explained that his apprentice had started using that phrase for human behaviors; for any unthinking emotional response, the apprentice says, “Stop acting like a horse!” 

I’m totally stealing that phrase. It fits so many human situations. If I’m at a party and my friend leaves me with a bunch of strangers, my inner introvert gets worried about partaking in small talk. So I tell myself to snap out of it: Don’t act like a horse! Or alternatively, if several friends invite me to join them at a concert, and I don’t really want to go hang with the crowd and listen to loud music but feel like I should follow the herd anyway, I should instead follow my gut and stay home: Don’t act like a horse following the herd! 

Or on the highway, if everyone else is driving too fast and I get anxious and feel like I should try to keep up…don’t! Stop acting like a horse! Just relax and drive at my own comfortable speed. 

I have also learned that if things are getting crazy on a ride and horses are going every which way reacting to the chaos of a situation—just wait until the chaos subsides. Don’t act like a horse. Don’t react emotionally. Breathe. It’s safer if I wait to react after the dust settles, and my horse is calm enough for me to step off and help. 

This will be my new phrase to live by and to apply to anxious, unusual, or reactive situations whether on or off the horse. Ride your own path, at your usual slow working trot, and ignore the behavior of the rest of the herd. I look forward to implementing this newfound independent philosophy. Now, if only I can get my horse to stop acting like a horse in those crazy chaotic times.

See this article in the July 2024 online edition:

July 2024