Facing End of Life Decisions with Best Friends
My senior horse, Gunner, has Cushing’s disease and chronically sore feet. Although he’s on medication to treat the disease as well as reduce pain, each fall as the days shorten and his cortisol rises, he has another episode that pulls him down a few notches on the quality-of-life scale.
I do all the things: low-sugar forage, no pasture, regular blood tests, special supplements, and he wears boots when needed to alleviate the pain when it blooms. At 24, he still seems youngish to me, but it’s been a few years since I last rode him (and how I miss it). He looks great, with a shiny coat and good muscle tone. He cavorts around his paddock on his good days; but those days are becoming fewer and farther between. He’s losing his teeth, and I can see his days are numbered.
So, here’s the question many others have asked before me: how do we know when it’s time to say goodbye? I can barely stand the thought of losing this special friend, but neither do I want him to suffer prolonged pain. Euthanasia may be the hardest thing about owning animals—and we humans must make the decision when and then see the deed through.
In all my decades of horse ownership I’ve only had one horse die suddenly and peacefully on his own. All the others died with me and a veterinarian by their side and actively involved. The ones who were in agonizing pain from colic were not so hard; I just wanted their pain to end. But the older friends who I was trying to save from a catastrophic event or long-term pain have been very, very hard experiences indeed. I’ve felt as though I was betraying the trust I’d spent their lives developing—the sense that I would keep them safe no matter what.
When we euthanize an animal, we are saving them from prolonged pain or a catastrophic injury from something like a fall. But in the moment, it doesn’t always feel that way. The tears I shed and the grief I bear after is often saturated with guilt. Was it the right time? A good veterinarian who can honor your choices and buffer your emotions is a prize. And they can be hard to come by.
For now, Gunner is doing well enough to stay here with me at Blue Gate Farm. Every day we are together is a blessing. No matter what, I’ll do my best to keep him safe.
See this article in the November 2025 Online Digital Edition:
November 2025
Kim Roe grew up riding on the family ranch and competed in Western rail classes, trail horse, reining, working cow, and hunter/jumper. She trained her first horse for money at 12 years old, starting a pony for a neighbor.
Kim has been a professional dressage instructor in Washington state for over 30 years, training hundreds of horses and students through the levels. In recent years Kim has become involved in Working Equitation and is a small ‘r’ Working Equitation judge with WE United.
Kim is the editor of the Northwest Horse Source Magazine, and also a writer, photographer, and poet. She owns and manages Blue Gate Farm in Deming, Washington where she continues to be passionate about helping horses and riders in many disciplines.
